


what comes next

by grumpyhedgehogs



Series: scraps [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, Good ol' Ben had to get in one last dramatic robe drop amirite, Heavy Angst, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Instability, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Set after Obi-Wan's dramatic death, Suicidal Thoughts, Uncertain Mental Stability, blasters, haha don't kill me i live to make cody sad, no actual suicide, the rebellion is about to get a new best commander, watch the fuck out vader cody's coming for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27941237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpyhedgehogs/pseuds/grumpyhedgehogs
Summary: CC-2224, an old robe, and a blaster. Cody, a love he never admitted, and dead memories. Obi-Wan used to tell him hope was the most powerful tool a person had.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: scraps [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047085
Comments: 14
Kudos: 254





	what comes next

**Author's Note:**

> Am I churning out Codywan angst fics at top speed because I am avoiding my finals? Yes. Shut up. Don't look at me.

“I think I love you,” Cody whispers. The words don’t hurt the way he expects them to, don’t burn or scrape against his vocal cords. They simply leave an age-old ache, as familiar as the embrace of a friend. The robe twists in his hands, scrunched into a ball in his fists. He can’t let go; the comforting, rough weave digs into his palms, imprinting its crosshatched pattern there. Cody savors it. It’s all he has left now.

Vader has the lightsaber. Cody’s not sure what the Sith will do with it. He doesn’t want to know--if it’s destroyed, if the one thing that for years stood between death and the one man Cody has ever loved is destroyed by that man’s student, brother, child--

Well. It’s not like Cody hasn’t already thought about what he’ll do. It’s not like Cody doesn’t already have a plan. There’s a blaster, non-regulation issue, barcode scraped off, hidden under his bunk. The other troopers leave clones be most of the time, too unsettled by whatever haunts his and his brothers’ eyes. It’s easy to sneak contraband. He’s thought of turning it on Vader before finishing the job, but he knows it wouldn’t work. If Vader was too much for--for _him_ , there’s no way Cody is enough to stop the Sith. He’s thought about it anyway, if only because he knows the end result will be the same, enacted by his hand or Vader's. But this Force osik has screwed up Cody’s life since before it began; he doesn’t want to give the Sith any more satisfaction. It’s time Cody actually takes charge of his life.

It’s just that he can’t seem to rise from his bunk. The robe dropped to the floor in that corridor before Vader’s downswing struck. Cody knows. Cody _saw_ . Cody waited until the rebels fled, until Vader swept away with the ‘saber, until someone in a grey uniform told him to clean up the mess Vader left behind. Then he took the robe and--left. He just left. He’s been sitting here, hands draped in fabric long thought lost, for some indeterminable length of time. He’s tired. Cody hadn’t realized how tired he is until now. It’s the type of fatigue sleep won’t fix. He can’t move, he's so damn tired; his bones are too heavy. His head is full to bursting, with regret and fear and hope and tears and a damn chip rusting away in his brain. He wishes it had never worked. He wishes it never stopped working. It was like that bright flash of blue lightsaber, that clashing sound, that old, worn smile, was so familiar that a switch flipped inside and he wasn’t CC-2224 any longer. He hates _him_ for it. He loves _him_ for it. Cody can’t think straight.

There’s only a few things Cody knows now, that he can keep right side up in his head. They are these: He used to be Cody, and he became CC-2224, and then he was Cody again circa a few hours ago. The man he loves is dead and Cody helped kill _him_ and _his_ entire family. Vader has the lightsaber. Cody has the robe and a blaster and Cody is still in love. 

Cody has never said the words aloud until now. The robe isn’t comforting as much as it is damning. He clutches it close anyway. “I _love_ you.”

“Oh no,” says a voice he won’t ever hear again. Cody clenches his eyes shut against a sob. He can see _him_ now as if _he_ is in the room with Cody. _He_ ’s sitting across from Cody, leaning forward in a perfect mirror of _his_ former commander with _his_ elbow on _his_ knees. _He_ reaches forward and clasps Cody’s hands in _his_ ; Cody thinks _he_ wouldn’t hold as tight as Cody would like _him_ to. _He_ was always so careful with the clones, with everyone _he_ met. _He_ never wanted to hurt anyone. _He_ was the best warrior Cody's ever known. _His_ fingers would be dry and soft and calm and heavy on Cody’s fists. He can almost feel it as if it is real. “No, Cody, no.” Obi-Wan repeats quietly. “Don’t do that. Anything but that.”

“But I _do._ ” He’s crying like a youngling. If he gets too much salt water on the robe it won’t smell like Obi-Wan anymore. “I love you.”

“Don't love me if you can help it. It won’t do either of us any good now,” Obi-Wan answers, insufferably reasonable. “You have to stop Cody. Oh, darling, you simply must stop hurting yourself like this. You know my heart couldn’t bear it.”

“I killed you.”

“You _tried_. You'll find you didn’t quite succeed. I’m quite infuriating that way, I’m afraid.”

“I loved you and I helped kill you. I shot at you.”

“I do have that effect on people,” Obi-Wan says airily. “I tend to be a very divisive person. Inspire strong feelings and all that. Can’t be helped.”

“You’re dead.”

“Well, yes,” Obi-Wan agrees, still sounding arch and amused. Cody wishes he could open his eyes to see the familiar, infuriating expression, but he can’t. He knows he’ll be alone when he looks up. He can’t swallow it yet. “But that doesn’t mean we _both_ have to be dead, dear heart.”

“I can’t go on without you. I don’t think I have the strength for it.”

“You’re not alone Cody. I might be gone, but I didn’t take everyone you love with me.”

Rex disappeared right after Cody turned into CC-2224. Ahsoka Tano is still at large. There have been rumblings of a growing rebellion. The blaster under his bunk calls to him again but Cody’s too busy listening to the one voice he wishes he could have back and never will. 

“You’ve been on leave long enough, Cody,” Obi-Wan tells him, the sound of his voice fading as he does. Cody knows he is smiling without looking. “It’s time to get back to work.”

Cody opens his eyes. He is alone. It hurts so much he can’t breathe. He does it anyway, if only because Obi-Wan would want him to. Ahsoka. Rex. The rebellion. The trio that ran--Obi-Wan had died to protect them. A boy, barely a man, with blond hair, screaming for Ben as he was dragged away. The princess of a dead planet shooting like she had been born with a blaster in her hands. A man and a Wookie, piloting a ship like Cody hasn’t seen a person do in decades. This is the rebellion? This is what is left of everything they had fought for? This is what Obi-Wan would have him live for?

So be it.

Cody takes the blaster and the robe with him when he goes. 


End file.
